Building Rapport

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What Is Rapport? (source: Mind Tools) 

Rapport forms the basis of meaningful, close, and harmonious relationships between people. It's the sense of connection that you get when you meet someone you like and trust, and whose point of view you understand. It's the bond that forms when you discover that you share one another's values and priorities in life.

According to researchers Linda Tickle-Degnen and Robert Rosenthal, when you have a rapport with someone, you share:

• Mutual attentiveness: you're both focused on, and interested in, what the other person is saying or doing.

• Positivity: you're both friendly and happy, and you show care and concern for one another.

• Coordination: you feel "in sync" with one another, so that you share a common understanding. Your energy levels, tone and body language are also similar.

This connection can appear instantly – when you "click" with someone – or develop slowly, over time. It can grow naturally, without intent, or you can deliberately set out to build it.

Rapport isn't just a tool for building relationships, though; it's often the foundation of success. When you have a rapport with someone, you're better placed to influence, learn and teach, particularly as the trust that you've built up means other people are more likely to accept your ideas, to share information, and to create opportunities together.

Whether you're being interviewed  for a job, selling  something, or trying to improve a relationship , knowing how to build rapport can help you to perform successfully.

Less Skilled

• Unconcerned with the lives of others.

• Unwilling to be vulnerable with others.

• Stoic and cold. Avoids showing interest in others.

• Talks about self too much or does not talk at all.

More Skilled

• Has a knack for connecting with others.

• Listens carefully and attentively.

• Doesn't overstay an invitation. Knows when and how to end a conversation at the appropriate time.

• Relax and try not to "up the ante" by bringing anxious energy to the room.

• Finds common ground to use as a point of connection.

• Good listener. Practices active listening skills.

Very Skilled

• Can create a sense of trust within a few minutes.

• Empathetic listener.

• Match temperament and mirror healthy energy levels such as tone, tempo, volume, and speech patterns.

Over Skilled

• Overshares in an attempt to form connections or bonds with others

Resource List

1. Establishing Strong Two-Way Connections (Mind Tools Article)

2. Building Rapport and Effective Communication (Skills You Need Article)

3. Nine Powerful Techniques for Building Rapport With Anyone (LifeHack Article)

4. Why Rapport Matters to Your Business (Tony Robbins Article)

5. 82 Ways to Build Rapport With Anyone You Work With (LightHouse Article)

6. It's Not All About Me: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone (Amazon Book)

7. Rapport: The Art of Connecting With People and Building Relationships (Amazon Book)

8. Top 10 FBI Behavioral Unit Techniques for Building Rapport With Anyone (Time Article)

9. Rapport: The Four Ways to Read People (Amazon Book)

10. Magnetic Charisma: How to Build Instant Rapport, Be More Likable, and Make a Memorable Impression (Amazon Book)

11. The Power of Rapport: A Practical Guide to Build Trust, Increase Productivity and Develop Authentic Connections (Amazon Book)

12. The Art and Science of Building Rapport (Coursera Online Course)

13. Powerful Communication: Rapport Building (Udemy Online Course)